Drifting
by Blood.Tears.Gold
Summary: Quinn and Rachel are friends but for Quinn it is a little more than just that. Part 1 of a three part story. Semi-autobiographical. Rated T for part 2 and 3. Give it a try :)


**A/N: Hello everyone, here is a short story about Quinn who is dealing with her friendship with Rachel. This will be a three part story. I am writing it in three parts because I am going through this right now so yeah…**

**It is all in Quinn's perspective. You = Quinn and She = Rachel. **

**Drifting**

It's funny how perfectly natural your friendship has become. How it progressed from something slightly awkward with carefully planned conversation and the avoidance of spontaneity, to something that feels almost normal. Touches, mostly fleeting and brief, get longer and heavier with every day and it does something to you that you are not ready to deal with. You ignore the thudding in your chest when she asks to come over for the first time and you spend the entire evening on opposite sides of the couch because you are unsure of how to relax around her.

Over time though, things change. Her visits to your house become a regular thing and she barely even calls anymore to let you know she is on her way. It only takes a couple of minutes for you to let your walls down far enough so she can peek over them and rope you into an in depth conversation about whatever is going on in that mind of hers. It excites you, the way she lures you out of your own world and allows you to glimpse a little bit of hers. It terrifies you that with every word she gets closer to yours.

Months go by and Finn breaks up with her. She is in tears and completely heart broken so you hug her tightly and tell her that it will be okay. You reassure her that you will always be there for her and that she should call you whenever something's wrong. She nods and sniffles against your shoulder so you hold on a little tighter. When she calls you at 2 am that same night you can't help but smile before you pick up the phone.

She is still upset about the whole break up but she comes over even more often now and you are seriously considering giving her a key to your house so she doesn't have to ring the doorbell every time. You decide to re-watch Friends and while she gets the drinks you situate yourself on your favourite space on the couch. She comes back with two bottles of water and some chips and sits next to you, looking at the scene expectedly. You press play and try to ignore the feeling of her thigh against the soles of your feet. You know what will happen next because it always does. After about 10 minutes of her intently watching the show and you sneakily watching her, she starts shifting. Resituating herself over and over until she leans her back against the opposite end of the couch and unfolds her legs over yours. Your hand covers her shin immediately and you can tell she is looking at you but you keep your eyes trained on the television.

For three episodes you sit like that, unmoving except for your rebel thumb that not so subconsciously strokes her shin every few minutes. You can feel her clenching and unclenching her calf muscles and you know she is getting uncomfortable. This time she doesn't shift. She drifts ever so slowly closer to you until you have no choice but to angle your body towards her so her head can lean on your chest and your right arm has to wrap around her. She sighs against you and you pray that she can't her the thudding of your heart through your sweater. She snuggles further into you and you sink a little lower into the couch. You try to focus on Friends you really, really do. The feeling of the swell of Rachel's hip is just way more interesting.

When she gets back together with Finn you hug her and congratulate her even though a part of you breaks. She doesn't come over as often but when she does, you drift together faster than before. She tells you about what bothers her about Finn and what annoying habits he has. With a stone in your stomach you try to calm her down enough to see some reason. A part of you wants to break them up. Get in there and break it, crack it little by little until there is nothing left, but you aren't even sure if everything is just in your head. Friends snuggle all the time, right?

During bouts of insecurity you push her away. You answer her questions with short and simple answers and don't engage in conversation because you know that you are about to burst. You ignore her texts and don't respond to the sound of your phone ringing. After a couple of days you will call her and apologize and everything will slowly go back to the same again.

You decide that for now you will take what you can get, what you can deal with, and just hope that she keeps drifting back to you even though you push her away further every time.

**A/N: Reviews..please?**


End file.
